THE ENEMY BELOW (1957) - Awesome naval war flick

 

The 50s was a great decade for war movies. With WWII still fresh in people's minds and the easy pickings for villains (everyone hates the Nazis), the studios churned out tons of war movies. A lot of them were crap, but thankfully there were some real gems in the mix. The Enemy Below is one of them. I'd say it is the best submarine movie ever made aside from 1981's Das Boot. The setting is the Atlantic Ocean as the Second World War rages on and Nazi Germany's dreaded U-boats are sinking American ships at an alarming rate. The fate of the war rests in the hands of the Allied sailors as they fight a brutal naval war against Hitler's deadly submarines.

Filmed aboard real subs and ships and with real bombs going off. Awesome.

The destroyer USS Haynes is alone in the vast Atlantic and on the prowl, looking for Hitler's submarines.  Aboard the Haynes, the bored sailors go about their daily tasks and complain about their lack of combat action. Everybody wants to get their chance to hunt some Nazis down. Rumors spread about the ship's new captain, since some of the men are worried that the skipper Captain Murrell (Robert Mitchum), an ex-reserve officer whose last ship was torpedoed, might not have what it takes to lead the ship. Suddenly, the sonar room detects an unknown contact. Fearing that it might be a German sub, Captain Murrell is brought to the bridge.

Robert Mitchum as the smart and determined skipper.

Below the water, a U-boat silently stalks the the destroyer. Commanding the sub is Kapitan von Stolberg (Curt Jürgens), an experienced and battle-hardened man with nerves of steel. Von Stolberg is a veteran of World War I, has lost both his sons to the war, has no love for Hitler or his cronies, and has become disillusioned with the war and the state of his beloved Germany. Nonetheless, he is totally committed to ensuring that his men come home safely and complete their grim mission. He is Captain Murrell's worst nightmare - a master at tactics, fearless, and an overall cool cat.

Sneaky Nazi bastards...

A tense, dangerous game of cat and mouse begins as the Americans try to pin-point the location of the U-boat, while the Germans do their best to avoid being blown to bits. The hours turn to days as the two captains out fox each other in their desperate attempts to gain the upper hand. The morale of both ships begins to suffer from the tension of the deadly game of hide and seek, as the U-boat tries to hide from the American sonar and dodges the endless depth charge barrages, and the American frustration grows as the Germans refuse to give in. Some of the best scenes in the movie don't need explosions to create excitement. They come from the thrill of the chase, as both crews plan and pull off their attacks and react to their enemy, knowing that a single mistake will likely end up killing them.

A likable German in a WWII movie? Say it ain't so!

Filmed in the good old days of practical effects and with the Navy's help, The Enemy Below boasts some impressive action scenes. As the Haynes bears down on the Germans, they rain down murderous depth charge attacks on the Nazi sub. These scenes are filmed with real depth bombs going off, while the underwater scenes are convincingly done with models that hold up pretty well even today. The acting from Mitchum and Jurgens is top notch. They're both great at portraying the reluctant but determined hero types, and aside from some sappy, emotional scenes at the end, they mostly eat up the screen.

This will not end well.

The Enemy Below is a damn good war movie, and despite the ending, which I found to be a bit too sentimental, it's got plenty of thrills and holds up well as an action movie even today. It set the standard for all the other naval combat movies that followed, and newer flicks like Crimson Tide, U-571 and Hunt for Red October all draw from it. Mitchum and Jurgens are in top form, the action scenes are realistic and it has a sense of realism that was untouchable until the definitive sub movie of all time Das Boot came out decades later. A true classic.

TL;DR - Riveting, epic battle between Nazis and Americans on the high seas - 9/10

ALIEN VS. PREDATOR (2004) - Making aliens boring.

I remember the first time that I was genuinely scared out of my wits by a movie. As a 12 year old, I'd already seen all sorts of scary movies, but there's only so many times you can see a masked guy slashing teenagers before it loses its shock value. Then I saw Alien one night on cable TV and even with my dad sitting alongside, Ridley Scott's masterful horror flick scared me shitless. I also remember the first time I saw Predator, and as a 4th grader, seeing Arnold and the Predator beating the crap out of each other blew me away. Both of these were classic movies with great creatures, and it's no wonder that they've spawned several sequels. It's too bad that aside from Aliens, none of the sequels even came close to matching the greatness of the original movies.

Nothing is sacred anymore.

The imaginatively named Alien vs. Predator opens with  millionaire industrialist Charles Weyland (Lance Henriksen) putting together a team of scientists to investigate a subterranean pyramid structure detected under the ice on an Arctic island by one of his satellites. Weyland hires Woods (Sanaa Lathan) to serve as guide for the team, who reluctantly accepts the offer. They arrive at the location and find a bunch of abandoned buildings, and to their amazement, a huge shaft drilled into the ice at a perfect 30 degree angle. Unknown to them, the hole was blasted into the ice by a Predator space ship orbiting around the Earth, as the creatures get suited up to join the party.

Where's Ripley or Dutch when you need them?

The humans soon realize that the pyramid is in fact an ancient temple used for a Predator hunting ritual. Every so often, the Predators would visit Earth and hunt aliens and whoever else was stupid enough to go inside the temple. They must try and make their way out of the pyramid and ensure that none of the aliens reach the surface, while at the same time avoiding the Predators. If the story sounds supremely retarded, well... that's because it is. Directed and written by Paul W.S. Anderson, the guy who butchered the Resident Evil franchise and made maybe one good movie, means that AvP was doomed from the beginning. It's plagued with bad dialogue and worst of all, weak action. There are a few good parts, but unfortunately most of them are lines or ideas lifted right out of the original flicks.

At least the Predators are still badass...

If you're going to make a movie with forgettable characters that nobody cares about, then it better have some great action to make up for it. In AvP, every action scene was apparently filmed on days when the guys who set up the lighting were off drinking at the pub. They're dark, muddled, and it's just about impossible to see the action clearly. All those neat, well-detailed creature designs and the expensive sets are wasted thanks to the shitty camera work, with shots that are either too dark, too close up, or cut too quickly. That being said, the aliens and the Predators are very well done, with smooth CGI and the always cool Predator heat vision being used to good effect. There's obvious production value in these areas. As cool as the creatures are, there really are no scares in the entire movie except for some cheap jump scares. The attempts at creating tension are laughable, most of the acting (aside from the great Lance Henriksen) is piss poor, and the ending left me wondering if I should laugh or cry at its cheesiness.

...never mind.

Alien vs. Predator has accomplished something very difficult in the world of movies. It's not that it managed to kill not one, but two great franchises with its ridiculously stupid premise and crap execution. Oh no. Even worse. It made two of science fiction's most exciting series seem boring and dull. The film's only saving grace is that it runs a merciful 100 or so minutes and that we get to see Predators killing off nearly the entire cast of dimwitted characters. From now on, I'll pretend these stupid versus movies were never made, and just watch the originals instead. Spare yourself the time and forget this movie.

TL;DR -Boring, inane mash-up that will ruin your childhood memories - 3/10

HANNA (2011) - Killer girl, killer soundtrack.

Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) is a teenager living in a remote cabin in the secluded Finnish forest with her father Erik Heller (Eric Bana). She spends most of her days doing ordinary kid things like training to become an assassin by hunting deer with bows and arrows, gutting said deer with her bare hands, engaging in hand to hand combat with her father, target practice with pistols, memorizing fake life stories, and learning about a dozen languages. Hanna has spent nearly her entire life living there, away from the real world and any sort of technology. The only real piece of technology she comes into contact is a radio transmitter which her father presents to her, explaining that once it is turned on, a CIA agent by the name of Marissa Weigler (Cate Blanchett) will learn of their location and come to find and kill her. He warns her to only flick it on when she feels ready to face the challenge.

Forget Barbies... Hanna enjoys gutting deer with her bare hands.

Hanna finally decides she is ready, and flicks on the transmitter. Erik reluctantly agrees, suits up and leaves for Germany, knowing that Weigler will soon send a commando team to seize them. Hanna is captured later that night, and interrogated at a special facility in Morocco, where Hanna kills one of Weigler's body doubles and escapes. We learn that Erik Heller is a rogue CIA agent, and that that Erik has been training his daughter for all these years to murder Weigler. She hires a team of assassins to track her down and kill Hanna, who is now hitching a ride across Europe with the family of a girl she befriended. As the assassins bear down on her, Hanna will discover some unsettling truths about her family, her father and Weigler, as she finds out more about who she really is.

Cate Blanchett as a murderous CIA agent is some inspired casting.

One of Hanna's main strengths is the quality of the main cast. Saoirse Ronan is just fantastic as the deadly yet naive girl who is slowly discovering the world she's been sheltered from for all those years. Imagine Natalie Portman's Mathilda in The Professional, but with an unhinged, savage edge. Hanna wasn't taught to be an assassin, she was born one. It's not an easy sell to make her character convincing, but she does a great job of it, and outshines every one else in the movie, even Cate Blanchett who I thought was surprisingly good in her unusual villainous role. The much advertised score by The Chemical Brothers is just fantastic as well, making scenes like Hanna's prison escape (an awesome scene, by the way) explode with urgency and tension.

The chase at the docks is one of the best in the movie.

Hanna is at its best when sticking to pure, unadulterated action. For all of its faults in other areas, Hanna shines with its crisp fight choreography, which shows an obvious attention to detail in several of the action scenes. By far my favorite scene in the movie is one in which Eric Bana's character is followed by several CIA operatives into an empty underground lot, where he is cornered. He instinctively and quite brutally disarms all of his opponents with lightning quick hits and coolly dispatches them before walking away. The entire scene is shot in one continuous take that runs for several minutes, and with the intense score pumping away, it's easily the most thrilling set piece in the film. Another stand out is a nighttime chase and fight scene in some Spanish docks, as Hanna leaps from one container to another while she pummels and stabs baddies left and right with cruel efficiency.

By the end of the movie, Hanna racks up an impressive body count.

It's disappointing then, that Joe Wright distracts himself so much with trying to make a visually distinctive movie that he forgets that the core ingredient of an action movie is action and story. Hanna has too little of both. We get only tidbits of background story about the characters. By knowing so little about them, it's hard to relate and care for anyone. What precious little action there is is at times ruined by the use of that damned shaky camera work that directors are so fond of these days. If you've got a gorgeously photographed and well-executed fight scene, why spoil the fun by making it nearly impossible to see what's going on? Not every movie has to be Cloverfield or Battle: Los Angeles. Wright has a talent for making beautiful films, and Hanna has some amazing views, but the dizzying camera movement during action scenes is distracting and detracts from the experience. At least it's got a bitching soundtrack.

TL;DR - Nicely shot, fast paced and with a killer score, but lacking in the action department - 7/10

TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (2011) - Bigger and better

Michael Bay gets a lot of crap about the way his movies all seem alike as well as his massive use of explosions and special effects. Whether you like his films or not, it's pretty clear to see that Bay is exactly the guy needed to direct a franchise based on a children's TV show about giant, transforming robots that come to wreak havoc on Earth. With Transformers, there really isn't any other way to approach other than just making the biggest, loudest, most visually dazzling picture that budget will allow, and he's done just that with the latest in the series. Anyone paying for a $20 IMAX ticket to Dark of the Moon and expecting to see a great screenplay and fantastic acting should have learned their lesson a while ago.

Any guy who says he wouldn't want to have Optimus Prime's voice is lying.

This time around, Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) has moved in with his new girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), replacing poor Megan Fox and her weird toe thumb. Sam has been having trouble adjusting to his life out of college, since he's out of a job and no one seems to be giving him any respect. The Autobots, still led by Optimus Prime, are now working for the government and kicking terrorist ass worldwide in order to keep the world safe, but things don't stay rosy for too long. Optimus learns that the humans had discovered an Autobot ship on the dark side of the Moon during the Apollo landings. The Autobots investigate and find the Ark, a ship belonging to an Autobot stashed inside the ship named Sentinel Prime (voiced by Leonard Nimoy).

Louis Stevens: humanity's last hope for survival.

Optimus rescues and revives Sentinel Prime, who informs them that the Decepticons are after a powerful technology called the Pillars, and that they must not get their hands on it. Sam offers his services to the government after witnessing a Decepticon attack on a co-worker at his new job, and is there to witness as Sentinel Prime betrays the Autobots. It's revealed Sentinel had a secret pact with the Decepticons, and after he kills Ironhide, he helps the Decepticons to plan and pull off an invasion of Earth by transporting huge armies through time and space to win the war once and for all, and enslave the human race. Things get a bit more complicated as we learn that the Decepticons may in fact have some human allies helping them on Earth, willing to betray their own kind.

Watching Bay turn Chicago into a war zone is the best part of the movie.

 Weak story and wooden acting aside, you have to hand it to Michael Bay: the guy knows how to make a bitching popcorn movie. Transformers looks absolutely amazing. It's incredible to see the kind of sharp, life-like CGI that $195 million will buy. The robots themselves are great to look at, and the battle scenes are even better. The Decepticon invasion and attack is insane: whole city blocks are demolished with enormous explosions, with hundreds of planes, vehicles, people and robots sharing the screen in a spectacular orgy of synchronized destruction on an epic scale. There's a slick freeway chase scene that's amongst the best scenes in the movie, while the long final battle in which most of Chicago is turned to rubble is so wickedly entertaining that it is without a doubt a series highlight.

When in doubt, cast a former Victoria's Secret model.

 Bay has also cut down a bit on the ridiculously quick cuts from the first movie that made it nearly impossible to see just what the hell was going during action scenes. He's replaced most of that nonsense with slow motion instead, and while it's still annoying, at least you now have a clearer look at the action. Fantastic visuals aside, Dark of the Moon falls short in the same areas like the previous flicks, although this one enjoys a better cast thanks to good turns by John Malkovich, Frances McDormand and the always hilarious John Turturro. Firefly favorite Alan Tudyk and The Hangover's Ken Jeong have brief, weak cameos. Dark of the Moon is a much more enjoyable movie than the first two however, since Bay focuses more time on the action and less on the basically half-assed attempt at story, and keeps things moving briskly.

Poor Tyrese and Duhamel get less screen time than the annoying Mexican Transformer.

It's a movie made to be watched and enjoyed in 3D, make mountains of cash at the box office, and keep you interested enough to make you shell out the $20 to watch the inevitable sequel. If you accept it for what it is, and look past the obvious flaws, it can be an enjoyable movie. Bay knows the secret to putting asses in seats: amazing visuals, having Shia LeBeouf scream at the top of his lungs every 10 minutes, comedic one-liners from expendable characters, and slow-motion panning shots of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's ass as she climbs stairs in her underwear. If you're not watching it on the big screen in all it's 3D glory, you're missing the point.

TL;DR - Better cast and better action make this the best Transformers movie yet - 6/10

BRICK (2005) - A high school crime story

Director Rian Johnson's debut Brick was released to good acclaim in 2005 when it picked up a few prizes, good reviews and then dropped off the radar for many movie fans. I fortunately came across it while on a film noir kick after re-watching one of my favorites, L.A. Confidential. Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt before he hit the jackpot with Inception, with a sharp script and a rich atmosphere drawing on inspiration from film noir mystery movies of the past, Brick was a very welcome surprise.

Brendan just doesn't know when to give up.

High school senior Brendan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) receives a mysterious phone call from his estranged ex-girlfriend Emily (Emilie de Ravin) pleading for help. The desperate, confusing call ends abruptly when Brendan is buzzed by a threatening, speeding muscle car. Brendan begins asking around for Emily at school and no one seems willing to help him. He slowly but surely begins to piece together tidbits of information gleamed from classmates and local dope fiends. With help from his friend and eccentric loner Brain (Matt O'Leary), Brendan investigates a drug ring which may have something to do with Emily's disappearance.

Drugs are bad for you.

A breakthrough leads a disheartened Brendan to Emily's dead body near a water tunnel. As he continues to dig deeper into her murder, he comes into contact with Pin, the local drug kingpin who runs a heroin operation in the city, and his various thugs. Brendan also stumbles into an uneasy relationship with the popular Laura, whose motivations are less than clear. Without giving any more of the plot away to avoid spoiling anything, Brendan will soon realize that he has put himself into a dangerous situation that is quickly threatening to overwhelm him. Drugs, violence, betrayal and deceit all intertwine to hinder Brendan's investigation.

Ally or femme fatale? In Brick, nothing is what it appears.

 This flick is proof that you don't need big names and a big budget to make a damn good movie. The strength of the movie is in the story, which unravels at a leisurely pace while keeping you interested and building tension throughout. Rian Johnson gets the best out of his limited cast, especially with Joseph Gordon-Levitt who nails it as the stubborn, fast talking and resourceful Brendan. Brendan is a memorable character, as is Pin, whose scenes give the movie some welcome comic relief at times (the scenes in his kitchen and basement are hilarious) and yet still manages to seem convincing as a cold, calculating drug lord.

Running a drug empire from Mama's kitchen - like a boss.

The score is subdued but effective, and the lighting and atmosphere is jut gorgeous and gives the movie a gritty vibe that makes it all the more enjoyable. If you're in the mood for a good detective story and can look past some of its quirks, especially some of the obscure slang, Brick hits the spot. It can drag a bit at times and if the deliberate pacing annoys you, it might not be your cup of tea, but it is otherwise an enthralling, exciting crime yarn with some memorable scenes.

TL;DR - Slick crime story meets film noir meets suburbia - 7.5/10

GREEN LANTERN (2011) - The summer of spandex begins

This summer has been a barrage of comic book adaptations, with Thor, X-Men: First Class and Green Lantern all hitting the big screen with gusto. Green Lantern looked promising from the previews, with Ryan Reynold's and his wit being matched up with some impressive visuals. As a kid, I was always a Batman and X-Men fan, so to be honest I know next to nothing about the Green Lantern story, but it looked interesting enough to warrant a watch.

That big, evil cloud thing is Parallax. It eats people and planets, but no vegetables.

The movie gets off to a quick start with a voice over giving a brief overview of the creation of the Green Lantern Corps millions of years ago by the Guardians of the Universe. The universe was divided up and each sector was assigned a Green Lantern to protect it from threats like Parallax, the evil, fear-inducing demigod that enjoys wreaking havoc around outer space. Luckily, one purple-faced alien Green Lantern by the name of Abin Sur (Temuera Robinson) was able to defeat Parallax and trap him on some forgotten planet.

Purple aliens... this looks promising.

Unfortunately for Abin Sur and the rest of the universe, some idiot aliens crash-landed their spaceship on said planet and released the greatest evil in the universe, which could have easily been avoided if these interstellar aliens had thought to invent an iPhone with GPS on it. Regardless, Parallax is released and is mad as hell, and goes on a rampage, destroying planets, killing fools, and just being a general pain in the ass. He faces off with Abin Sur and mortally wounds him, but not before Abin Sur manages to escape on his spaceship and make his way to Earth.

The world's only hope for survival is a Canadian.

While Abin Sur hurtles his way towards Earth in agonizing pain with an oozing chest wound, hotshot pilot Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is late for work as usual. While flying a mock dogfight with his wingman Carol Ferris (Blake Lively) against some unmanned drones, he tries to show off and ends up crashing his jet. Abin Sur's ring ends up choosing Hal to be the first human Green Lantern. Hal is transported by the ring to the Green Lanterns' home, where Sinestro (Mark Strong) teaches him how to think and fight like a Green Lantern. He then returns to Earth to protect the planet and most importantly, Blake Lively, from being gobbled up by Parallax.

Mark Strong basically unrecognizable as Sinestro.

Ryan Reynolds has enough charm to carry the movie, but the end result is a forgettable comic movie. Charisma isn't enough to make for a good action movie. Iron Man had Robert Downey Jr and his loads of witty charm, but it also had an interesting take on the origin story, and a sharp script. In this movie, Hal becomes a Green Lantern and starts kicking ass in about 10 minutes. There's no development, no obstacles to overcome except his tendency to be an asshole most of the time. Blake Lively is there as eye candy, Mark Strong's Sinestro is only there to set up for the inevitable sequel, and the rest of the cast is forgettable.

Not even the ring could save this one, pal.

The CGI ranges from some outstanding close ups to the mediocre. Some of the best scenes in the movie come early, with the dogfight between Hal and Carol's F-35s and the drones being pretty slick, and the attack on Coast City by Parallax is awesome as well, as the big cloud of evilness and fear smashes through buildings, cars, and wreaks serious havoc every where. Apart from a few standout moments, Green Lantern is definitely not up to par with the best comic book movies. To be honest, the Green Lantern might be the most difficult of the comics to adapt to the screen, but you can't fault them for trying.

TL;DR - All flash and no dash for Hal Jordan - 5.5/10

POINT BLANK (1967) - A masterful Lee Marvin revenge flick

What's there to be said about Lee Marvin that hasn't been said before? The man was a true screen legend, and starred in some of the best action movies to be put to celluloid. He made a career out of playing steely, tough guys in movies like The Dirty Dozen, The Killers, Hell in the Pacific and classic Westerns like The Professionals. 6 foot 2 inches tall, a deep voice that rivaled Darth Vader on his best strep throat days, a fondness for huge Smith & Wesson revolvers and with a body count that makes natural disasters jealous, it was no wonder that he was cast as Walker in this 1967 neo-noir crime thriller. Point Blank is somewhat of a cult classic that has gotten better with time and has been copied by countless other action movies since its release.

"Knock, knock. Who's there?" IT'S LEE MARVIN!

Criminally-inclined Walker (Lee Marvin), his wife Lynne (Sharon Acker) and one of his lifelong  friends Mal Reese (John Vernon) plan and execute a heist in San Francisco, stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars during a money exchange at Alcatraz prison. As they are making good their escape, Reese betrays Walker, shooting him several times, taking Lynne with him and leaving the wounded Walker to die in the abandoned prison. Much to our viewing pleasure, Walker is a tough son of a bitch, since he survives and makes his way off the island. After some hallucinations, and flashbacks of his happier times with Lynne and Reese, Walker immediately begins planning his revenge. Walker will stop at nothing to find Lynne and Reese, kill Reese and get back his share of the loot: $93,000.

1960s vintage Angie Dickinson - yum.

Walker meets up with a guy named Yost, who has information about the people he's after. Apparently, Reese had betrayed Walker in order to pay off a huge debt he owed to a gang of high-class criminals that goes by the name "The Organization." Intent on finding that backstabbing bastard, Walker heads to Los Angeles, where he breaks into Lynne's new house, but Reese is nowhere to be found. Depressed and knowing that Walker will never forgive her, Lynne kills herself with an overdose of prescription pills. Their betrayal has made Walker indifferent to anyone's suffering but his own. He leaves Lynne lying on the ground and goes off to find Lynne's sister Chris (Angie Dickinson), who is supposedly Reese's new girl. Chris turns out to be more helpful than Walker thought. She agrees to help him and together they set out to find Reese. Revenge is the only thing in Walker's mind, and may God have mercy on whoever gets in his way.

Reese betrayed Walker, shot him, took his money and his girl. Yeah, you're f*cked pal.

Lee Marvin played badasses and tough guy roles throughout his career, but he was born to play Walker. Quiet, strong, violent and determined, Walker is a force of nature as he rampages through Los Angeles on his quest to get back his money. Angie Dickinson does a good job with her character as a contrast to Walker's emotionless granite demeanor. The script is tight and simple, and John Boorman's direction is amazing. The movie incorporates techniques and motifs that were relatively unknown at the time and uses them to tell Walker's story in a visually dazzling manner. Point Blank ends up becoming a no-frills revenge thriller with a career-defining role for Marvin, while at the same time breaking new ground in the action genre. My gripes? I didn't find John Vernon's acting all that good, which didn't detract from any joy at seeing Walker beat the living crap out of him though. The musical score is also a bit of an acquired taste at times, so be warned.

Walker just wants his $93,000. You better hope you don't get in his way.

It's not hard to see why Point Blank is regarded as an underrated classic. Lee Marvin in the role of his life, a simple yet convincing story, a gorgeous 1960s California setting, and a heavy dose of noir action and grit. This movie would later be remade in the 90s as Payback, starring Mel Gibson, but it was far from being as good as this one. Point Blank is a classic, with a forceful Lee Marvin and beautiful Angie Dickinson at the top of their game, and not to be missed.

TL;DR - Hard-boiled revenge thriller and a colossal Lee Marvin - 9/10