Sunday, September 26, 2010

PREDATORS (2010) - Get to da sequel!!!!11!!111!

When I first read the news about a new sequel in the Predator franchise being made, I'll admit that I considered buying a pump-action shotgun and wreaking havoc on whoever it was that thought it was a good idea to make yet another damn shitty rip-off. The original Predator was a classic 80s action film. It was a fantastic mix of action, suspense and sci-fi. The way that the film seamlessly moved from standard shoot-em up fare (let's demolish a small Latin American country) into a thrilling man vs. monster stakeout (Holy shit Batman, an invisible monster is skinning Arnold's team) in the jungle made for great viewing. Sadly, the sequels that followed were plain and simple bullshit. Predator 2 was just terrible. The Alien Versus Predator series has been shitty to the max as well, and I thoroughly expected this new flick to be a steaming pile of wasted celluloid.

Most of these guys probably wont make it...
So I was surprised when about half an hour into Predators, I realized it wasn't half as bad as I feared it would be. Sure, there's no way in hell Adrien Brody could ever replace the likes of Schwarzenegger and it's cliched to hell, but the vibe is there. The movie goes back to the roots of what made the first flick so good. It puts the emphasis back on the humans fighting the Predators. It puts them smack dab into the claustrophobic jungle right from the beginning and has them rely on each other to survive. It's also got a decent cast, with the likes of Danny Trejo (as a Tijuana drug cartel assassin) and Oleg Taktarov (carrying the enormous Minigun) alongside other faces you've probably seen in other stuff. One of my favorites was the death row inmate (perfect casting with Walter Goggins), who at one point  in the movie shanks a Predator while yelling "DIE, SPACE FAGGOT!"

I double dare you to go prod that tied up Predator. Do it brah!
Take a second and go over that last line again. I was snacking on some delicious pizza while watching it and nearly choked from laughing when I heard it. The story is just enough to keep the audience interested, but in a guilty pleasure movie like this, it's the action and suspense that has to keep things flowing. The first half hour was for me the best, as the team of mismatched goons makes their way around the alien planet and gets attacked by a few new creatures. However, there's something I can't stand in movies like this, and it's revealing everything in regards to the creatures.
Morpheus holding an alien gat. Your mind = BLOWN.
You can go the Aliens route, and have the things on screen all the time, but the action and pacing has to be perfect, which in this case it isn't. Or you can be smart and keep the audience guessing by showing the Predator in brief, brutal glimpses. The movie drops the ball in this area, but what the hell. Predators may not be perfect, but at least it's a breath of fresh air for a franchise that had been shafted and given donkey balls since the original came out in the 80s. You can sense the hand of Robert Rodriguez behind the scenes. This is the guy behind Machete, Sin City and other great guy flicks. He knows what makes a badass movie tick, and we can be thankful that it was him and not some ass like Uwe Boll getting his hands on a great a franchise as Predator. If you're a fan of the original, definitely watch it. If you're in the mood for some good-natured monster killing, WATCH IT.

tl;dr: finally a decent Predator sequel that doesn't blow monkey balls. 7/10 and worth a watch.


  1. Walter Goggins really made this movie for me. I love him in Justified, but while everyone else is loading up with guns he sticks with his shank is just fucking beautiful.

  2. I hated this move saw it twice just too make sure i dint miss anything but i didnt just wasted another 2 hours :(