Friday, October 29, 2010

TOP 5 - Memorable Movie Things That Go Boom

 As I was debating between which of the next series of manly movies to review, I decided I'll be posting a few of these Top 5 sorts of articles every once in a while to break the monotony. Without further ado, let's kick things off with the first of who knows how many. In honor of the things which make action movies as great as they are, here is an ode to those wonderful explosive shooting things that have brought us so much joy on the screen.

TOP 5 - Memorable Movie Things That Go Boom

# 5 - Pulse Rifle
Film: Aliens (1986) 
Who used it: Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley, Michael Biehn and others as Colonial Marines. 
Why it's worthy:  Most of the badass Colonial Marines in the fast-paced action sequel to Alien were packing the futuristic pulse rifle. In keeping with the gritty, realistic feel of the movies, the pulse rifle looks like a meaner, pimped out version of the assault rifles we see in movies today. What made it especially memorable was the cool sound it made as the characters blasted their way through hordes of aliens; the fact that it has a huge grenade launcher underneath can't hurt either. It wasn't awesome enough for Ripley though, since she attaches a grisly flamethrower to it with some duct tape in preparation for the grand finale battle with the ultrabitch alien Queen.

# 4 - Anton Chigurh's Shotgun 
Film: No Country For Old Men (2007)
Who used it: Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh.
Why it's worthy:  It's so simple and unassuming, yet still unnerving. Oh, and the fact that one of the most ruthless murdering pyschopaths ever to grace the screen wields it also helps. In the Coen brothers' bleak chase movie, Anton Chigurh sports a terrible haircut and a shotgun with a silencer and goes around Texas wreaking mayhem all over. His gunfight with Josh Brolin's character is one of the most exciting moments in the film - you can't hear the assassin's shots until they smash into the ground near Brolin's feet or they hit flesh. Menacing.

# 3 - M202 Rocket Launcher
Films: Commando (1985)
Who used it: Arnold Schwarzenegger as John Matrix.
Why it's worthy:  When Arnold did a movie in the 80s about an ex-special forces soldier destroying a small Latin American country in order to get his little daughter back, he couldn't just use a pansy ass bazooka. It had to be as brash and as extravagant as possible. It also had to be as heavy as a Honda Civic, so that Arnold's arms could be flexed throughout the scene. No, sir... Arnold got the best - in Commando he ends up sending many mustached thugs to their fiery doom with a four shot rocket launcher he apparently copped at a local neighborhood gun store. I love the 80s.

# 2 - .44 Magnum
Films: Dirty Harry (1971), Magnum Force (1973), The Enforcer (1976) and Sudden Impact (1983)
Who used it: Clint Eastwood as Inspector Harry Callahan
Why it's worthy:  Look at the damn thing. Just the sight of that enormous cannon-like barrel should be enough to make any grown man shit his pants. The script for Dirty Harry decided that Eastwood's gun had to be the most fearsome, man-perforating device available, so it opted for the Smith & Wesson 29 revolver. Memorable? You damn right. Dirty Harry doesn't mess around. Whether shooting bank robbers or hostage takers or serial killers with bad haircuts and ridiculous names like Scorpio, he needs a handgun that can take down elephants in single shots... "Go ahead, make my day."

# 1 - Minigun 
Films: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) and Predator (1987)
Who used it: Arnold Schwarzenegger as the T-800 and Jesse Ventura as Blain Cooper
Why it's worthy: It's huge. It's got six barrels. It shoots more than 100 bullets per second. And the guy carrying it has to be a bodybuilder and take serious amounts of horse steroids to even lift it. In all of movie history, it is hard to find any gun as weapon that can rival the badass factor of the Minigun. The scene in Terminator 2 when Ahhhnuld opens up on the cops outside the Cyberdine building is just amazing. In Predator, the gun is used to cut down a huge swath of lush rainforest with a hail of bullets as the soldiers try to hit the invisible Predator. Never has overkill been captured so well on the screen - it's glorious.


  1. Javier Bardem's hair is memorable in it's own right....

  2. That shotgun from No Country For Old Men was fucking awesome.

  3. those are some badass guns

    can't fuck with dirty harry

  4. I still haven't seen No Country yet, but I just might have to now.

  5. Commando is such a fucking awesome film.